Dear Kim,

I am tired. I am so tired that I could easily fall asleep at this very desk and only be woken up by an angry guest ringing our bell or my boss coming in to yell at me for falling asleep. I guess working until 11 the night before doesn't bode well for working at 7 a.m the next day.

Also, I am cold. Freezing, Actually.

So I'm tired and cold and trying to keep myself awake by reading, which isn't helping and all I want to do is go home and go back to bed. I was supposed to be working with my boss this morning but he's sick and staying home. I have a therapy appointment at 10, so hopefully I can get Roderick to cover for me.

Sorry all I talk about anymore is work. It's all I have going on.

_____________________


So I had my therapy appointment and she !@#$%^& made me cry. I was in there, perfectly fine, and then she had me in tears. She made me feel not fine and she made me feel sick and I hated it. She made me feel like everything was not okay, and that I wasn't doing well and she made me feel like this was false hope and that I was going to be miserable again. Like being borderline is this curse.

No, I do have my shit together. I got a job, I'm going to pay off my debts, then when I get it all figured out I'm going back to school. I will not slip as low as I used to be. Never again.

Anyway, so yeah. That really upset me. I was bawling by the time I got back to my car and then I had to go back to work.

Fortunately my boss let me go early because I looked tired. My eyes were all red and droppy from crying. I came home and slept for a few hours. Now I'm here, writing to you.

I don't know much of what else to talk about. I wish I hadn't gone to therapy. She was hard on me because of the decisions I've made and I don't think today was useful at all. It just made me feel bad.

Love,
Alexandra